Gainful Employment for Zombies

I recently discussed gainful emp0loyment for zombies in a GoodReads forum, and thought I’d share this info with my blog buddies.

You might be thinking, “Mark, zombies are unemployable! Put them behind counters and they’ll just lean forward and eat off the customers’ faces!”

But, let’s not jump to conclusions!

The usefulness of zombies would depend on their: 1.) Intelligence, 2.) Ability to speak, 3.) Durability, and/or 4.) Cooperation.

We can’t assume that all zombies are like the ones on THE WALKING DEAD. There are, after all, many different types of zombies (I’ve given these matters much thought over the years — I’ve written about zombies in more than ten different books, as chronicled here:

With understanding and innovation, gainful employment could be found for any and all undead Americans.

For example, why not cast zombie roles in movies and TV shows as … zombies!? Why dress up a living person as a zombie when a zombie could play the role with less make-up and far greater sincerity? It’s a labor-saving solution with no downside, provided the zombie can be made to understand that it shouldn’t devour the main characters.

And, how about zombie models? Finally, models emaciated enough to fit into the tight, torturous designs of today’s most sadistic  fashion designers.

Zombies with low, pleasing voices might enjoy working as greeters at major shopping venues. “Good morning! Thank you for shopping ProductCo! You’re looking delicious today!”

Nuclear plants and sewage treatment facilities would welcome zombie employees, who wouldn’t grouse about such trifling matters as radioactive contamination or swirling fecal fumes.

Even zombies pegged for destruction could be used during target practice for police cadets.

As you can see, there are a lot of niche employment markets that could easily be filled by the living dead!

Feel free to visit my Goodreads Author’s Page at

About bmoviemonster

Mark McLaughlin is the author of the novels, HUMAN DOLL, THE HELL NEXT DOOR, and INJECTABLES. His fiction, nonfiction, and poetry have appeared in more than one-thousand magazines, newspapers, websites, and anthologies, including Cemetery Dance, Black Gate, Galaxy, Fangoria, Writer’s Digest, Midnight Premiere, Dark Arts, and two volumes each of The Best of the Rest, The Best of HorrorFind, and The Year’s Best Horror Stories (DAW Books). He is the author of many books of horror, so be sure to visit his Amazon Author's Page at
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