A 4th of July bonus: here’s another short-short story for your amusement!
Connect The Dots
by Mark McLaughlin
Tell you about myself?
Well, I like to think of myself as a proactive, multi-tasking team member who can think outside the box, connect the dots and see the big picture.
Of course, in telling you that, I am defining myself, and when one defines oneself, one must – by definition! – limit oneself. Yes, I am limiting my definition of myself to what I am telling you. But really, I would prefer to see myself as a person without limits. I don’t even want to limit myself to being a person.
I am an entity. A proactive, multi-tasking, team-playing entity without limits, thinking outside of the people-box as I connect dots and see big pictures. And because I like to see myself as an entity without limits, that would allow me – by definition! – to see in every direction at once, inward and outward, from the tiniest point at the center of my being all the way out into the farthest, blackest reaches of the cosmos.
So basically, my entire consciousness envelops all of time and space, all of existence, so that by definition, that would make me the known universe, multi-tasking and team-playing proactively outside of all imaginable boxes, connecting the eternal stars known and unknown, visible and invisible, from super-novas to black holes, linking all those majestic dots and gazing deeply into the grand abyss – the vast, ultimate picture of all that has ever been and ever will be, forever and ever more.
Bow down! Scream my name from the terrified depths of your miserable soul! How dearly I long to crush you, for that is what one does to an insect. That, by definition, is what you are in relation to me. A mere insect! The sort of creature one grinds underfoot into paste without giving the action even a split-second of thought or regret! Tremble, tiny, vile cockroach that you are! Tremble before my all-powerful might!
As you can see, I am fully qualified for the position of third-shift environmental services technician. I’ll even bring my own broom.
So when do I start?
– End –